There's this thing I've been (nominally) working on for the past two days which I very muchly so do not want to be working on. In fact, there are many things I would rather be doing. Here is a random list of such alternatives that have come to mind:
- Calculate π to a 1% uncertainty by throwing frozen hot dogs down the hall. I leave it as an exercise for the reader to calculate how many thows this will require.
- Visit The Federated States of Micronesia. I think the fastest way to get there from here is via Houston and then either Guam or Honolulu on Continental; it should take about two days. Then I could go to Yap! Don't worry; Micronesia still has about an order of magnitude more people than Vatican City, and almost twice as many as Greenland.
- Go candlepin bowling, preferably at the bowling alley near the Alewife T-stop.
- Fingerpaint in red wine.
- Make a t-shirt where the front is the image to the right and the back says, "I believe!"
- Have a free dinner of Indian food with today's speaker, even though I didn't go to this talk because I was supposedly working on this thingie. Note that I do not like Indian food.
- Make a 3-D snowflake.
- Play with my pet dragon. Or penguin.
- Fill my office up with a house of cards. And then knock it all down.
- Be gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces.
- Marry an axe murderer.
- Gnaw my fingers off one by one.
- Watch Gigli again. It's a painfully bad movie—and not in a good way.
- Read all
39643671 messages in my spam folder.
- Take a swim off of Revere Beach near Boston, MA, right now at night in the cold and rain and mist.
- Sit at my desk with a stopwatch, staring down the hall, and measure—repeatedly—just how long it takes for the motion sensors to allow the lights to go off.